Forgive ?

“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...”. 

What is so special about forgiveness or forgiving? I think that being forgiving is cliché. And the reason it’s cliché for me, is probably the overuse of having to be forgiving. We are taught that if we mess up that we ask for forgiveness, but in reality, we need to be asking for understanding. Everybody makes mistakes and we all fail to do right all the time. That’s ok. It’s ok to mess up. But to ask for forgiveness is selfish. It’s selfish to tell someone to forgive you once you’ve done something to hurt them. Not only did you hurt them, but now you want them to forgive you. Now, asking for understanding, that’s not selfish. One thing we can all understand is that we mess up. There is not a person walking this earth that has been able to always do right, by everyone and everything. Knowing that as humans we are flawed is an important part of healing. 

Forgiveness is hard. When a person has been beaten, and bruised by people they love or trusted; you cannot expect them to forgive. Forgiveness requires the ability to put aside. You have to put aside your hurt, your lack of ability to trust, and even your pride. As an emotional being, that’s near impossible. 

If you ask for forgiveness, you cannot continue to kick that person when they are down. When you ask for forgiveness it comes with the connotation that you’re going to change and do better. If you ask for understanding, there’s more room for error. You are admitting you messed up because you are human but you are not giving hope to the person you hurt that you will be better.

As people we feel like we have to forgive people who hurt us. The fact of the matter is, we don’t. We do not have the same capabilities as God. If we take the time to understand that people are flawed, the healing process will become easier. Convincing yourself to forgive people who hurt you only puts more pressure on you as you try to heal. The only person you owe anything to, is yourself.